Jacksonville was being “Chase”d for the AFC South title but then “Burrow”ed their way back into a division title fight with a loss to the Joe Cool-less Cincinnati Bengals: Also Cleveland

JT: There’s a title for ya. Was reaching a bit for some pun fun, but what are ya gonna do?

I have zero desire to write about the Bengals game, if I’m being honest. Yet I will. I was there until the bitter end, then I jumped on the elusive golf cart that doesn’t exist in Jacksonville, because the organization obviously doesn’t care about their players, and I rode it all the way to my truck. Trevor, obviously wasn’t allowed to use it, so no harm in me taking it for a spin. My dogs were barking, bruh. With such a Mickey Mouse operation up here in JAX, I’m absolutely not surprised we treated our franchise QB like Cinderella and made him walk two miles, uphill, both ways, in the snow. If you’re not aware of what talking head (ass) sports commentator, Colin Cowherd said, then please go, right now, and Google his complete and utter ignorance. I promised myself I wouldn’t talk too much about this but man this guy is such a clown.

My opening above is extreme sarcasm outlining what Clownherd spent several minutes, on air, spewing out of his fat, lazy, non-researching, phoning it in, ass. Colin has earned himself a podium spot in the race of sports “commentators” who speak as if they’ve just had a lobotomy. No decision yet as to the color of Cowturd’s ribbon, but I want to believe that after his childish, completely incorrect and totally asinine diatribe, he may have earned himself the gold medal. It’s so difficult to bump Skip Bayless down to a silver but Colin Cowherd didn’t just jump the shark, he jumped The Fonz while The Fonz was jumping the shark. What a maroon. Now to talk actual football, something those mentioned above know very little about.

To sum up, the Jags lost in OT. They also, lost roughly 54 of their 53 man roster to injury, including starting QB, Trevor Lawrence. When you add that the defense played about as well as Colin Cowherd verifies facts before he opens his mouth, it resulted in the perfect storm and JAX was on the Andrea Gail. I guess Cincy WR Tee Higgins’ timely return really did make a big difference, as he caught a first down pass toward the end that pretty much put the nail in our collective coffin. Bottom line, we lost one we shouldn’t have. I don’t know exactly where to place blame, so I will say this: It seemed like Mike Caldwell was scared of Higgins and Chase. He decided to drop into coverage as if Joe Burrow was under center instead of confusing, pressuring and blitzing the back-up quarterback that, before Monday night, was nameless. Now everyone in the world knows who he is. He, in fact, is now in the MVP race. Oh, also the O-Line woes of the Jacksonville Jaguars continue to haunt the Bold Coast. Walker Little pulled a hammy, which contributed to Trevor’s injury. So let me guess, we are moving Ezra Cleveland to LT and playing Shatley at LG? Our offensive line depth is completely non-existent. Major injuries and McManus’s missed field goal were the other reasons the Jags never made it back to Gloucester for beers with Marky Mark and the third Batman (we don’t count Adam West. Mr. Mom will always be the first Batman). While Parker Washington performed well in place of Christian Kirk, he is also partially to blame for T-Laws injury. It was a hot read route that Parker didn’t read at any temperature, causing Trevor to pull the pass down and hold the ball longer than he wanted. Well, we all know what happened after that. As the story goes, we fall to 8-4 and our lead in the AFC South shrinks to one. A one game lead over the Houston Texans and Indianapolis Colt. The good news is that those two teams still have to play each other before the end of the season, and Jacksonville still holds all the cards. Win and we’re in. Tangentially speaking, did you guys realize that Trevor Lawrence was having his best game of the season before he was hurt. He also had a higher QB rating than Cincinnati’s no name QB. That is, before Walker Little tried Trev’s ankle on like an Air Jordan. Man, it is no fun whatsoever to write this column.

Let’s turn our attention to the Cleveland game, shall we. In good news, Trevor Lawrence walked out to a presser on Wednesday with no boot, no crutches, and also no cart, Colin. He was, however, sporting some goofy slides that are evidently all the rage. My man was wearing an outfit I lounge around the house wearing and everyone was drooling over his “drip.” Granted I don’t own goofy slides, and if I did they wouldn’t cost as much as my truck. I’m nobody to judge fashion btw, currently, as I type this, my socks don’t match. In addition, Trevor Lawrence was spotted at practice today. That’s right, he was out there throwing the old pigskin around. He didn’t take part in every drill but he was definitely running around on his gumby-esque ankle. One thing is for sure, Trevor is no longer allowed to play games on December 4th. It was a year ago, Dec. 4, 2022 when I thought Lawrence was lost for the season in a horrible looking sack by Detroit. Then this Dec. 4 against the Bengals. Dec. 4 just ain’t your day, my dude. Contractually he needs to be banned from play on that day. The fact that Lawrence had no walking boot, no crutches and is on the practice field leads me to believe that our QB1 will be QB1ing in Cleveland this Sunday.

The question now is, should he be? The answer is, yes. If he is medically cleared then he should and needs to be out there. There is a problem however and it is three fold. First, Cleveland’s defense is big and extremely physical. Our offensive line is whatever the opposite of big and extremely physical is. This does not bode well for Trevor or our run game. Oh, and did I mention that Travis Etienne is on the injury list this week? Maybe Baalke should sign Trevor Etienne before someone snatches him up. The Jags can grab from the portal, no? UF is in a world of hurt btw. Leaving Billy Napier in the driver’s seat will crush that once proud program and Trevor ETN is only the beginning. The flood gates have now opened. That AD should have been fired yester-year. Where were we? Ah yes, the beautiful city of Cleveland, Ohio. Not only is their defense ferocious and our quarterback, running back, and half of our offensive line, hobbled, but the weather is supposed to be pure crap. Cold and rainy. Great football weather for a ground and pound game, which we don’t have. So then we throw the ball. Awesome, Christian Kirk, our most dependable and leading wide receiver is out for the season with a core injury requiring surgery. The next man up, Parker Washington, is a rookie prone to non-veteran play. Evan Engram is the next most reliable receiver after Kirk, so I expect some funky formations to get Eazy open. Problem is, all they need to do is double him because Big Play Zay is also not 100%. You can keep reading but this story gets no better. The silver lining here is that Cleveland has an anemic offense themselves. They are either starting 75 year old statue, Joe Flacco, who once won a Super Bowl in the 90’s (I think). The 1890’s, if I’m not mistaken. If not Flacco they will be starting a rookie. So it seems that the Jaguars and Lloyd Christmas both have a chance. But, only if the Jacksonville defense plays like we know they can and not like they displayed against some random dude off the street whose name I still can’t remember even though he had the game of a lifetime breaking every QB record ever set and will probably win the MVP as well as Time’s Man of the Year, an ESPY, and a permanent spot on State Farm commercials (that sentence definitely needed some additional punctuation). I’d like to pick a winner for you but there are too many variables. We don’t know who is starting at quarterback for either team, and we don’t know the weather yet. But I can promise you this, if it is cold, rainy, and all around Cleveland crappy out, then the winner are the Jacksonville fans who get to watch the game in beautiful Florida, which according to The Weather Channel app will be 79 degrees… and raining, son of b….!

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