JaguarsTalk: A New Jacksonville Jaguars = New Uniforms
JaguarsTalk: It’s time for a change, because sometimes you’ve got to refresh to be fresh (sounds better from Steph Curry).
Are the Jaguars such a bad team that we are now discussing the uniforms? Has it really gotten to that point? I guess that’s more rhetorical than anything else, considering the last two years drafting at the number one spot. Fans really only start to care about a team’s uniform when they are either phenomenal and winning Super Bowls or making the playoffs on a regular basis etc.. Oh yeah, and also when they are the league's perennial loser (think Jon Heder’s character in practically every movie he’s ever been in).
Usually the fans of winning teams talk about how they don’t want to change the uniforms. It’s more of a superstition thing. Much like hockey players that grow playoff beards or baseball players that don’t change their underwear during a hitting streak (it happens). Maybe superstition is the exact reason why fans of losing teams (read: our Jacksonville Jaguars) talk about uniform changes as well. The fear being that the current uniforms, some fans even going so far as to say the new-ish Jaguar logo, is the reason the team has been awful. Put aside some past bad drafting, bad coaching, bad coaching hires, and really stupid player moves (Fournette exiting stage left, literally west to Tampa, comes to mind), because those things certainly played no part in the Jags being so bad they wouldn’t even be selected for the college football playoffs (if you can’t read the sarcasm than I can’t help you). But hey, I will give the uniform posse the benefit of the doubt and say that they just may have a point. Afterall, the list of human errors mentioned above have all, seemingly, been addressed. The Jags brought in new coaches, and made new hires to leave the past poor decision making in the literal past. Therefore it can be rightfully concluded that if Jax is still losing, even after all of these changes, the problem most certainly must be… the uniforms. Let’s fix this issue, tout suite.
As far as I am concerned we can end this column right after this next sentence. When speaking about sports uniforms, it is my opinion (read: should be law) that the best uniforms are unbelievably simple, ala Penn State (their all whites are crisp), or outlandishly ridiculous, quite like the ever changing unis of the University of Fighting Highlighters (read: Oregon’s neon yellow ensemble). Go big or go unbelievably simple and classy. All of this in between stuff (where most team’s uniforms fall) is simply white noise. Have you heard of the “gray man?” It refers to blending into the background. Being unnoticeable. Being blah. It has its advantages when talking about clandestine activities but not so sure it has any place on the gridiron. So, if we are going to talk about Jacksonville’s uniforms and the changes that should be made, we can start by saying they are fairly close but not quite there. Again, Bob Uecker as Harry Doyle comes to mind here. “Just a bit outside.” That is my goto for anything that slightly misses the mark. Also, Uecker as Doyle, and Charles Barkley as, well, Charles Barkley need to announce and do color for every single game of every single sport, always and forever.
Before we go any further we need to first set some guidelines. Remember when your parents taught you to think for yourself and form your own opinions, well don’t. There is no room for additional opinions, differences in design ideas, etc… The changes I suggest are the only correct options. Understanding that, we may proceed.
In the vein of the Penn State Nittany Lions white pants and jerseys, Jacksonville should have an all white uniform. I am aware that this currently exists but I suggest the extreme. No stripes, no outlines, no piping, no teal (except maybe numbers), no black, no nothing. Now, understanding that numbers have to be on the uniform, let’s make those teal, or bring back that gold-ish color, I don’t care. Now we can make the helmets an all matte white as well (best look. Not up for debate). No Jaguar logo on the helmets, no jersey number, no stripe, only the stickers that stupid NFL rules stipulate must be there. All we need is a solid matte color all the way around. I would also be a big fan of a simple and plain all teal (again, no other color or design) uniform with white numbers and an all matte white helmet. Simple and classy. And here is the kicker. No name plates at all. We are not individuals, we are a team. You are rewarded by your salary and by winning. Football is a team sport. This unwaveringly appropriate attitude of mine is proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, to be the most correct by none other than Neon Deion Sanders. The most individual-centered, full of himself, only the letter “I” is in “team”, showboat, look at me, center of attention seeking, player to ever step on a football field. Now the head coach of Jackson State, Sanders is demanding that the Southwestern Athletic Conference make it mandatory to have player’s names on the back of every jersey. Why? Because… and I quote the man himself, “don’t you think his mama-n-them want to see their baby name on the back of the jerseys?” The SWAC leaves it up to the team to decide, but that is not good enough for Deion “look at me” Sanders. I was reading some comments left by readers on an Outkick article concerning this very topic and one commenter could not have said it any more clearly, “My school of thought…not individuals but the group that makes a team.” You could have ended it there but they went on to say, “Individual names become entitled (insert expletive), we’ve seen it time and time again.” I would have to agree.
This crap leads to choreographed end zone dances and sharpies being pulled from socks for autographs. It’s all stupid, look at me and only me, non-sense and it begins with having your name on the back of your jersey. If you want to perform better as a team then you want to point to the team as a whole for success, not just yourself. Now, all of that being said, and even though I am 100% correct on this topic, names will always remain on the backs of NFL jerseys. Because, it brings in more money through sales, advertising, promotions etc… and the NFL is after all a business. Tangentially, the NCAA, with this new rule to pay college athletes for their likeness, will achieve two things. The first being to kill team sports, we will have a bunch of Rod Tidwells running around. On the bright side however, it will further point out the “Me!Me!Me!” players so that NFL teams can avoid drafting the “I come before the team” guys. Though again, the NFL is a business and if those players bring in the money then who cares about their attitude. My fear is that soon names will be required on college jerseys as well.
Now that my rant is over, I feel the need to point out that I do not hate Deion Sanders. I hated when Daniel Snyder brought him to the Redskins, but there’s a difference. I am sure that he is a very nice person and a great coach, we just disagree on a few things. Don’t worry though, we will work this out over dinner sometime. Now back to the column. Jacksonville could get plain, simple, classy and back to the basics, uniforms… Or, the Jags could go in the opposite direction and be ludicrous, loud, and obnoxious. Again, I refer to the University of Nike up there in Eugene. Because billionaire Phil Knight, co-founder of Nike, is a graduate of Oregon, the Ducks receive not only a hefty amount of money but they also get to be the guinea pigs for what I can only describe as Nike’s Jackson Pollock uniform experiment. Frankly though, I strangely am a fan (not to be unfair I will include the University of Maryland here as well. The Terps have had some pretty outrageous uniforms over the years since the Under Armour founder is a Terrapin graduate.) I love that the Ducks have so many wildly different uniforms that it sometimes seems as though they make wardrobe changes at halftime. From the ghosted feathers and numbers on the jerseys, to the bright yellow highlighter scheme, to the mirror helmet finish (which has to somehow cause problems during sunny games), I love them all. This is what Jacksonville needs to do. I’m all for a combination of these two ideas. The Jax brass can wrap a complete uniform change into a nice little press release.
“The Jacksonville Jaguars will be bringing everything back to basics; pitching and catching, blocking and tackling. The Jaguars will focus on building a strong football foundation on which to construct the winning team that the Duuuval faithful deserve. In the spirit of bringing it back to the basics our new uniforms will mirror this mentality.” And then BAM, bring out the all whites and the all teals. At the same time Jax should go nuts with a third uniform. Go all out Nike/Oregon Ducks disgustingly tacky. The pants, the jersey, the helmet, the socks, the shoes, all of it. Put the Jaguar symbol everywhere. Make it huge. Make it ghosted, just go all out. As an example, go back and check out the University of Texas concept uniforms pictured on the home page. They are horribly awesome.
This is it for options. Those are the only ones. No others will even be considered. The Jaguars players will look good on the field, win or lose, but hopefully win. The focus can finally be brought back to the actual game we love. But, as my boys Wu Tang Clan will agree, the absolute best reason why these new uniform changes should be implemented is dolla dolla bills ya’ll. Everyone will buy all of this new swag. Why? Because, it looks pretty damn good. And more money equals Shahid Khan making some massive, and pretty impressive, improvements to the entire organization. Stadium expansions, more and bigger events, greater fan interactions, a JaguarsTalk suite for all games and events. These things benefit… Every. Single. Fan.
End game: The team looks and feels better, which always translates to plays better (consider Miami’s best narcotics officer, Mike Lowrey. The man dressed like a model and policed like nobody's business). Just as importantly, a uniform change is a visible and palpable signifying moment of a fresh start and new attitude on a team that needs it and in a city that deserves it. When I started this column I really couldn’t care less about uniforms, but now, with a JaguarsTalk stadium suite in the mix, I’m all in on making this happen. Can someone do me a favor and bend Mr. Khan’s ear in my direction? Please and thank you.
While you are at it, you fine readers can feel free to bend your fingers in the direction of the comment section below and drop us a line or two. We, like every teenage girl on the socials, judge the success of our existence on the number of “likes” and comments. It ain’t been easy.