JaguarsTalk: Jacksonville Jaguars and other Sports Musings
JT: From Bruce Smith and Tony Boselli to John Oehser and Manny Ramirez, we’ve got it all
To steal a column idea from MMS (mondaymorningsports.com), we here at JaguarsTalk though it would be fun to regale ya’ll with random thoughts that dance around in our heads. Most will be Jaguars related, some may be way out of left field (anyone know the…well, we are just going to make that one of our randoms for today’s column). Sit back, relax and enjoy the inaugural JaguarsTalk: Randoms column.
Anyone know the origin of the “out of left field” saying? You know, like when someone is speaking about a certain topic and then someone else chimes in with something completely off topic, and someone else exclaims “man that came out of left field!” Essentially they are saying that it came out of nowhere. But left field is not nowhere. Left field is where the Green Monster snatches would be home runs. It’s where Manny was just being Manny (I detect a slight Red Sox slant). It’s the back up to the hot corner. Left field generally gets the most outfield action in baseball and softball. Wouldn’t it make more sense for things to come out of right field? For instance, on the hilariously funny Netflix show Schitt’s Creek there was a scene where the non athletic guy was needed on a softball team to prevent a forfeit due to lack of players. He couldn’t catch or throw and so they put him in right field. Right field is less known, less active, less respected. It’s the red-headed step child of the outfield. Essentially you can sit and have a sandwich all inning, every inning, especially if we are talking about men’s league softball. I’m not saying that right field is equivalent to the guy who kicks off in a football game, but more like to the dog that runs onto the field and retrieves the kick off tee. Have you seen this btw? A dog has been trained to run onto the field right after kick off and retrieve the tee (Boise State and UC Davis have one, to name a few). Maybe the Jaguars can do this. Something to look into, The team already has a relationship with K9s for Warriors. Maybe a dog that washes out of that program can be trained for this. We’re onto something here. Can someone put me in touch with someone please. And I’ve lost my train of thought. Moving on.
Speaking of dogs, let’s put this puppy to rest, Bruce Smith. As a former Virginia Tech Hokie and Washington Redskins fan (not a Co, Comman, Commande…nope, just threw up, fan. Worst. Name. Ever.) I love Bruce Smith. I even gave him the benefit of the doubt when my man “fell asleep” at a traffic light, around 6:30am, in his car with the engine running, in his hometown of Virginia Beach, Va. It could be he realized he shouldn’t be driving and did the responsible thing and stopped to sleep. He just forgot to pull off the street, park, and turn his car off. It’s possible, he has admitted to forgetting things due to his football injuries. So he forgot a few steps before falling asleep (read: passing out). My long winded point being that he was forgiven, excused. But Bruce buddy, shut your mouth when it comes to another man entering the Hall of Fame. Tony Boselli dominated you and that’s okay. It was one game in your illustrious career. His entering the Hall doesn’t take anything away from you. What takes everything away from you is the way you’re acting in response to Boselli getting a Hall nod. So please, take a step back, maybe go for a drive/nap and wake up a little less bitter. We would all very much appreciate that.
I am, however, thankful for this whole Bruce/Boselli ballyhoo. One, for giving me that alliteration opportunity. And B) mostly because it redirected everyone’s constant complaining away from the fact that Coach Pederson gave the vets a few days off. That poop storm of whining was getting really old, really fast.
Now let’s turn our attention to the ever increasing noise, as of late, surrounding the Myles Jack fumble recovery. Was he down? Was he not down? Was it an early whistle? Had it been called correctly, would the Jags have beaten the Pats? If they would have, would they then have beaten the Eagles in the Super Bowl, thus taking away Doug Pederson’s Super Bowl championship and probably negating him from consideration for the Jaguars head coaching job, which he currently holds? Can we please let this go? We, every time the Myles Jack play is brought up, sound like Al Bundy recapping the four touchdowns he scored in a single high school game. Except the Jack glory story isn’t about what was in Jacksonville’s past, but instead, what never was. And that makes constantly dwelling upon it even more pathetic. So let’s put that to sleep right next to Bruce Smith at the same Va. Beach traffic light.
Also please stop writing into the O-Zone and asking our boy John Oehser, senior writer for the Jaguars, if he thinks Jacksonville’s defense is really going to be better this year. Folks, think this one through, could they be any worse?
While we are on the subject of John Oehser can anyone tell me why it’s pronounced “Oh - sher” but spelled with the h before the s? Who does he think he is, Brett Faverah?
Went to St. John’s Town Center the other day to go to Barnes and Noble. Who knew book stores were still a thing. I wanted to buy Coach Pederson’s book, Fearless. I choose to believe that Barnes and Noble did not have a copy in stock because it is such a popular read here in JAX that they were sold at. Any who, the book was ordered and arrived and I am one chapter in. There will be upcoming, on this very website, a complete, solid and thorough book report, akin to the ones your third grade children write, minus the colorful drawings. I will have no drawings, just pearls of wisdom about Pederson’s pearls of wisdom that he so graciously shared in his book. Look for that riveting report coming soon on a website near you…This website specifically. Just this one.
Look NFL, I understand that you don’t want to give our small market team, who wins no games, any prime time NFL game slots. I get it, but can you at least think about the uptick in melanoma cases before you stick us under the murderously hot sun for four hours every Sunday. Signed, seriously considering a second mortgage to buy pool deck cabana seats.
I hate talking about uniforms because they don’t matter as far as on field play is concerned. But, everyone keeps discussing uniform changes and now I’m convinced that we need an all white one, including the helmet. Please see JaguarsTalks previous column: JaguarsTalk: Fine, Let’s Talk Uniforms. Don’t fight it, you will inevitably agree with me.
Evidently yesterday, June 17, was National Mascots Day. Sorry Jaxson de Ville for the belated shout out. On the bright side, I’m late for all of the important days in my family as well. So if A=B and B=C (see kids math is important) then that means I see you as family now.
That about sums it up for us. We can talk about the Jacksonville mascot's name at a later date. For now just leave your comments below. I'm exhausted and I know a traffic light nearby that offers the best naps.