Super Bowl LVII: The Bengals and 49ers Ain’t There

JT: I had the 49ers playing the Bengals in the SB, so what do I know?

Everyone was picking the favorites to win their respective championship games and meet in Arizona for Super Bowl LVII. I went against the grain, I picked the two losing teams. I thought for sure that the younger, more mature, more successful, less dramatic, less tantrumatic (it could be a word) more sacktastic, more dominant Bosa brother would be able to check Philadelphia’s offense enough for Brock Purdy to lead SanFrancisco to a stunning victory thus extending the cinderella story that is Mr. Irrelevant. What a movie script that would have made. Instead, one horrifically bad missed call by the striped shirts gave Philly a first down on a fourth down play, leading to their first touchdown. Momentum is everything. Several Eagles scores, and Forty-Niners quarterbacks, later one of the most boring NFC Championship games finally ended with the city of brotherly love getting another chance to hoist the Lombardi trophy.

Going back to Bosa for a moment, man-bun Bosa, not the one that I wish were on the Jaguars roster. It would seem, from the videos posted all over the inter-webs, that Jacksonville broke him. Have you seen these videos? Literally, by all accounts, a grown-a$$ man verbally fought with (granted, annoying) fans chanting his name. He could have walked away. He could have come clean and admitted his tantrum possibly cost his team and an entire city a chance at playing the Chiefs in the divisional round. He could have used the opportunity to turn things around, be humble and show some humility. Instead he decided to talk about how rich he is and in an attempt to insult the fans, he hurled terms such as “butt buddies.” I can only assume that JoJo Bo is currently preparing himself for the inevitable NFL apology tour coupled with the obligatory NFL sensitivity classes that he will now have to take. The question is, will it hurt his career? Will the Chargers part ways with this man-child because of the woke uproar that is sure to follow, especially in a town like Los Angeles? Let me be the first to say, if LA drops Joey Bosa because of his insensitive remark, it might be worth considering making room for such a veteran pass rusher on the JAX D. What better way to repair his mistake than by playing for the very team that seems to have broken the man in the first place. Dougy P. won’t put up with Joey’s childish antics, thus he will be able to show the NFL world that he is a changed man while heading deep into the playoffs with the Jags next year. Oh, and he won’t be very expensive either, not after this outburst. We don’t have much cap space in Jacksonville so value becomes paramount. Anyway, it’s just a thought. I’m here to help this young man as well as our football team, so you know, I thought why not the two-birds one stone thing.

Moving on to the Bengals/Chiefs game. Someone with a coveted (or paid for) blue check mark on Twitter talked about how loud the Linc was for the Eagles game against the Niners. I can’t imagine what that did to Chiefs fans. To have to endure such an insult two weeks in a row. To have to hear that two people in this world, this blue check mark person and Trevor Lawrence, both think that other 60,000-70,000 seat stadiums are also very loud, must be traumatic for those sitting in the cold, dark, dungeon that is Arrowhead stadium. When will football fans worldwide realize that there is only one loud stadium and it resides in the beautiful city of Kansas City, Missouri. Exhibit A: The Arrowhead fans were so loud when the Chiefs played the Bengals that it was not even possible for the players, other referees, players on the field, players on the sidelines, super high powered microphones and listening devices scattered all around the field and everyone listening at home on TV, to hear a back judge blowing his whistle to kill a play… before it started? This screw up resulted in a “do-over” play for KC. The Chiefs got to have more plays than they should have. I wouldn’t understand such an inability to hear a ref’s whistle if not for the fact that this occurred in the loudest place on planet earth, Arrowhead stadium. What doesn’t jive however, is the fact that KC was on offense at the time, thus the stadium was virtually silent. This reminds me of our favorite early 90s C&C Music Factory single, “Things That Make You Go Hmmm.”

Now that wasn’t the only questionable call in this AFC Championship game. It does seem as though when we get to a certain point in the playoffs, the NFL has their preferable match-ups. Look, I don’t have a dog in the fight. My bark was silenced when Patty Ma-homey sent our Jaguars to the links. Whether the refs meant to or not is not a debate I’m willing to take up. I will say however that questionable calls were made, and many that should have been made, were not. From my point of view, it’s more a lack of consistency issue than anything else. Whether that lack of consistency lends itself to preferential treatment for one team over another is a hill I will leave it to you readers to die on. I’m simply here to fuel the fire, pour accelerant all over this conspiracy theory and hand you a box of matches while I sit back, pop some corn, throw my feet up and watch the party ensue.

I will say this about the Chiefs/Bengals game. It was much more exciting than the NFC Championship debacle. The call by the refs that allowed the Chiefs to kick the winning field goal in regulation was a way too obvious infraction to ignore. I’m not saying that it cost the Bengals the game, but I believe it cost them an overtime opportunity to win. What disgusts me most about my last statement is that I heard Stephen A. Smith say the very same thing on ESPN’s First Take. I hate that I watch First Take, and it makes me ill that I agree with Screamin’ Stephen. I’m in a glass box of [self loathing], milk was a bad choice. Also, I don’t know if I used those brackets in the previous sentence correctly. Obviously I care as little about punctuation as I do about Arrowhead being “loud.” Picture me throwing up sarcastic air quotes when typing the word “loud.”

So the table is officially set. As a fan of the Kelce brother’s New Heights Pod Cast I will say that this Super Bowl, at the very least, carries with it that interesting brother vs brother storyline. I’m sure it’ll be overblown in the media, as I have already seen an article pop up about their mom, Donna Kelce. In addition, Jason K. already tweeted that he is no longer a fan of the Kansas City Chiefs. I wonder if he will weigh in on the noise levels at Arrowhead? I think that would be hilarious. Both Kelce brothers should shout as much bulletin board material as possible. Ain’t nobody would take it seriously but it would provide for some serious comedy. Maybe post some embarrassing baby pics of the other bro. Do a joint proclamation with your city’s mayor. I’m sure they can come up with better ideas than this. Look, the game is two weeks away, they can have a little media fight and still have plenty of time to dial it in before kick-off. This would make the world happy and cause people without a dog in the fight, or without any care about football, to actually tune into the game. It's all about the ratings after all. Ratings = Benjis. I just can’t see NFL commissioner Roger Goodell letting an opportunity like this slip through his fingers.

Thankfully for the elder Kelce, Super Bowl LVII will be played in Arizona where Chiefs fans can’t possibly tip the decibel meter in their favor. It is unfortunate that neither Jason nor Travis play defense. That would absolutely make for a much more exciting game. Rest assured, even though JAX is not playing, I will intently watch the game, if only to bring you fine folks my riveting write-up afterward. Let us know what you think in the comment section below.