JaguarsTalk: Jacksonville vs Washington - Part 1

JaguarsTalk: Black and Teal versus Stupid New Name

Here at JaguarsTalk we have only one rule; we don’t talk about fight club. Our second rule is to never put all our eggs in one basket. Because of this, instead of covering the entire season in one column, we will be spreading things out and going over each game individually. This solves a couple of very important issues. The first being that we can devote our undivided attention to bringing you the very best in, on-paper versus on-paper, match-ups. We will provide in-depth analysis about why certain players will dominate and why certain teams will win. The second issue, solved by devoting a single column to every game, is that of content. We here at JaguarsTalk want to provide the best possible articles for your reading enjoyment, meaning not only quality, but a healthy dose of quantity as well. Ain’t nobody trying to log onto a website that only posts a column a week. So by breaking up the season, we’ve got you covered. It also keeps me super busy with research, which keeps me out of my wife’s hair and improves family life. Yay for that (credit to my fellow Warrior Poet, John Lovell).

In the first game of the season the Jacksonville Jaguars will travel to Washington DC. No they won’t. They will travel to Maryland, where they will face off against the Maryland Commanders. That’s not right either. They will travel to Maryland, to play Washington, a team that is headquartered in Virginia. Yeah, that certainly makes sense. Nothing about the new Redskins organization makes much sense to me. To be honest, not much about the Daniel Snyder era makes sense to any die hard Skins fan. In an effort to look on the bright side, this year (minus the fantastically stupid new name) Washington looks better than they have in a very long time. Again, I reiterate that this is an on-paper observation, as Washington has pulled the wool over my eyes many times in the past. Pre-season, however, Jacksonville, portends to have their hands full with this opener. But, folks, if you’ve read my previous columns you know that I’ve grown up a Redskins fan, so I have a healthy and extensive history with this team. I can truly say Washington is much improved for 2022, but whether or not they addressed their most pressing needs is open for discussion. If you haven’t read my previous columns then please pause here, go back and read them all. We are happy to wait for you (cue the horrible 70s soft rock, on-hold music. Christopher Cross’ Sailing is going through my head…and now it’s going through yours).

I’m going to start this paragraph with the utterly fantastic Twitter commentary coming from the Jaguars official account. Washington led off with “see you all there” to which Jax replied, “Tell Carson we say hi :).” This, of course, is in reference to Jacksonville beating Carson Wentz and the Indianapolis Colts last season to keep them out of the playoffs. Subsequently, the Colts released the former first round draft pick and Washington scooped him up. Man, I love me some good smack talk. Especially when it comes from organizations. Wendy’s fast food chain is notorious for cracking me up with their witty tweets. The Jaguars’ Twitterer? Tweeter? Tweet person, gets some kudos for that response. Now let’s break some things down.

Jacksonville, on-paper, has not only seemed to have successfully stopped their defensive bleeding, but they may have possibly repaired, and probably strengthened themselves in some very important positions (could I have included more qualifiers in one sentence?). This is a good thing for the Jags, as Washington has arguably done the same, most notably in the QB position. As referenced above, Carson Wentz will be captaining the Skins ship. Drink up, me hearties, yo-ho. And while he has yet to live up to his second overall pick status of the 2016 draft, the North Dakota State grad has a very capable crew around him in 2022. He’s got one of the best receivers in the league in Ohio State alum, Terry McLaurin. This guy was a third round steal a few years ago. Washington also added Jahan Dotson, wide receiver from Penn State, with the sixteenth overall pick of this year’s draft. He is sure to start the season opposite McLaurin. Throw the finally healthy Curtis Samuel, another Ohio State wideout, into the mix and you have the potential for the next Redskins “fun bunch.” Add to this group of receivers one of the best pass catching running backs in the NFC, Antonio Gibson, and Wentz has a premiere outlet guy should his trio of WRs be otherwise engaged. McLaurin certainly will be since he will have to deal with Jacksonville’s Shaq Griffin most, if not the entire, game. Oh, and I almost forgot about Virginia Tech Hokies QB, Logan Thomas, who not only made the successful transition to tight end in the NFL (something I am still highly upset, to this very day, that Tim Tebow wasn’t able to do. The guy is just a winner and born leader) but when healthy, Thomas is a top five talent. The key for Thomas is to stay off the IR. But even if he can’t, the Skins have bolstered the position through veteran off season acquisitions and the 2022 draft. So it would seem that Carson Wentz has the weapons he needs to be successful in the air and on the ground this season. The key to Jacksonville disrupting this love fest that I am evidently having with Washington’s newly pasted together offense, is to dominate the Skins’ offensive line. 

Washington has lost guard Brandon Scherff. We know this because Brandon traded in his Ashburn, Virginia keycard for an account at the Teachers Insurance and Annuity Association of America (shouldn’t it be TIAAA Bank Field?). He will be one of the big fellas protecting Trevor Lawrence this year. Another plus for the Jaguars, in what I think is the area of the game that will decide the winner on Sept. 11 (Never Forget), is the, again…on-paper, revamping of their defense. We may not need to wait too long to see if Travon Walker was the right choice. Carson Wentz isn’t exactly Michael Vick, so if you can get to him in the pocket you’re going to record the sack. I see this as a real problem for the Washington front line. With Travon Walker, Devin Lloyd, Josh Allen, the signings of Foyesade Oluokun and Foley Fatukasi, opponents will face some tough sledding. Remember that the Jax D was built to counter the smash mouth AFC South division.

The Jaguars are in a brutally difficult, hard hitting running back division. They need to stop the likes of Jonathan Taylor and, super human, Derrick Henry (if that man fits any more hair into his helmet his nose will be popping out of his faceguard), so imagine what they will do with Antonio Gibson. However, much like the escargot in that prostitute turn millionaire’s girlfriend movie, Gibson is a slippery little sucker. In Jacksonville, it would seem as though Pederson and Baalke also prepared for such occasions. Not only did they put together the toughness needed to stop freight trains, but they equipped the Jaguars D with phenomenal speed, as well. Travon Walker, at 6’5” 272 lbs. runs a 4.51 40 yard dash. Josh Allen clocked a 4.63. Devin Lloyd came in with a 4.66. I’d go on, but I’m tired of googling 40 yard dash times to prove a point that you already know. Jacksonville’s 2022 defense is not only John Dalton, rip out your throat and float you across the river, physical. It is also John Dalton, jump from the roof of a barn, sprint at full speed to old man Emmet’s exploding house, run into a roaring fire and carry what looks to be the actual Santa Clause to safety on your shoulders, only to then run down, on foot, bad guy henchman, Jimmy’s dirt bike, at full speed, kinda fast. And I think we have just experienced the longest run-on sentence of this website. I will make it a point of emphasis to beat it in the future. Back to Roadhouse for a second, if I may. Please take time tonight to re-watch that fight scene described above. The writing was horrific and the foley artist (look it up) had a field day, yet it is still one of the greatest movies of all time. Made better only by Peter Griffin’s reenactments.

This is getting to be a long one folks, so I am making an executive decision to study the other side of the ball in the next column. I can do these things. It comes with the beauty that is being your own boss and not getting paid to work for the man (or just not getting paid, in general). I will cover the Jags offense and stack them up against the defense of Washington, so stay tuned. Same bat time, same bat channel.

As always, comments with better writing than the Roadhouse script are encouraged below: